Without having a clear vision, nobody gets things done correctly. But with a clear vision, the journey may be rough and tough, a person with a vision marches on till he reaches out his or her cherished goal. Marriage is no exception to this rule.
Marriage is not something to jump at without a roadmap. Selecting the right partner should be a product of an execution of a clear-cut marital vision developed over time. It should not be rushed. Therefore a spinster or bachelor seeking a partner would consider a number of things before beginning their search. First, marriage is responsibility. They will check themselves to see that they are financially, mentally, physically and spiritually prepared to take on responsibility. If not, they will suddenly discover that marriage is not a pleasurable venture. Consider for instance, a jobless man who wants to marry. With what will he sustain the marriage?
A lot of steps need be taken. It should start with prayers. Prayers to God to help one to locate the right partner in the midst of millions of qualified persons in the world. Honestly speaking, without God’s help, it is impossible to choose right. No matter the amount of resources deployed to find the right person, there’ll always be a mistake somewhere.
It should be followed with a definite action – the actual search for that right person. Some pray and fold their arms. The truth is that nothing good will happen after such an exercise. You need to launch out – into the deep – before you can catch your desired fish.
There should be clearly defined parameters such as the critical success factors those concerned consider important to them for identifying those who fit into the description of an ideal candidate. This will help them to be able to quickly drop the unsuitable ones and, when located, get glued to the right partner without hesitation . Some of these factors may include the set age, beauty, moral, social, religious, economic, educational, medical, standards acceptable to the searcher, etc.
Those concerned will be wary of dangerous snares that when they fall into them might lead them to take a rash decision. One of the most potent of such traps is pre-marital sex, which if engaged in, end up prematurely sealing up a relationship that is not well considered or which ought not to be contracted in the first place. Some desperate persons use this weapon to trap unsuspecting preys into unguided marriage. Becoming a father or a mother ‘by accident’ has a very destabilising effect on such parents and the society at large so sensible people will do all they can to prevent it from happening to them.
Getting the right partner is not a day’s job. It requires adequate time and thorough research to find somebody who is on all-fours with one on the fundamentals of life: e.g. equable mental faculty, educational background, ambitious, visionary, good temperament, objective, open-minded, humble, hard working, patient, persistent, reliable, and so on. Sometimes, it might require casting one’s net beyond geographical, denominational religious barriers. An ideal partner should be the type that will give one all-round peace in the end.
Therefore, any hasty decision in selecting a partner is capable of ruining one’s beacons of hope. One should be able to identify and get glued only to a partner who would understand and take one for whom he or she is – a truthful partner, not a selfish gold-digger. One should be able to identify a partner with whom one can share his or her innermost feelings without any foreboding of betrayal! The summary of all these is an ability to choose a partner with both physical and character beauty, a rare combination to come by in a human being. Hence the need for a thorough work.
For evidence of the practical application of this article in the writer’s life, please read his earlier blog sub-titled ‘My Marriage.
To get practical help on this issue, you need writer’s book titled “This Thing Called Marriage” If you are already married, then “Now That You Are Married Make It Work” will be a treasure for you. Please visit www.treasuredynamics.com ; www.treasurevault-ng.com or call or send SMS to me on 08055026142
